I can’t bear in mind the primary time I met Jon, however that’s as a result of I used to be solely 2 years previous when my Aunt Carla introduced him residence from the hospital.
What I can bear in mind is that, from a really early age, he at all times felt extra like a brother than a cousin to me.
Jon and I at all times gave the impression to be there for one another throughout our highest highs and our lowest lows, our lives woven collectively just like the patchwork quilts of our Appalachian Scots-Irish ancestors.
I used to be the eldest son of the eldest son, and Jon was the primary born son of my father’s sister, who was two years youthful than him, simply as Jon was two years youthful than me.
We each got here into this world underneath less-than-ideal circumstances. My father was shipped off to Southeast Asia to assist the Vietnam Warfare efforts only a few hours after I used to be born, whereas Jon by no means knew his start father.
We each wound up dwelling with our beloved grandparents for some time, creating extremely robust bonds with them (and between us) that will finally final a lifetime and have a profound affect on the lads we grew to become.
Jon and I had been each sweet-natured, delicate, considerably shy, and foolish as younger boys, maybe because of the female power of spending our infancy surrounded by our moms, aunts, and Granny.
We had been additionally each drawn to Grandad, a bearish mountain of a person with a robust work ethic, a profitable profession, an excellent knack for storytelling, an infectious chuckle, and an affinity for shenanigans we each adored.
Even after our respective dad and mom had moved out, my dad’s 3 siblings and their children would all get collectively at my grandparents’ home for each main vacation– birthdays, Mom’s Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, and Christmas.
Neither Jon or I had siblings for the primary 8-10 years of our lives, so we had been actually like two peas in a pod.
We each wore hand-me-down garments, typically stained with the remnants of our infinite out of doors adventures, with matching “bowl minimize” hairdos given by my grandmother.
As my cousins and I look again on our childhood images now– a lot of which you’ll see within the slideshow– you notice Granny was CLEARLY incapable of slicing a straight line!
Each time our prolonged household obtained collectively, Jon and I might undergo the pleasantries all younger children endure at household gatherings– the pinching of cheeks, the ruffling of hair, the “my the way you’ve grown” commentary.
However inevitably we might lock eyes, transfer away from the grownups, and say, “Wanna play?” And as soon as we had been launched from our household obligations, we had been like Wild Issues let out!
Jon and I had a basic boyhood friendship, like Huck Finn & Tom Sawyer or Calvin & Hobbes. I can nonetheless image him as a boy in my thoughts, his eyes broad, his toothy grin, and his blond hair bouncing within the breeze as we ran off in the hunt for our subsequent journey.
We had been each drawn to nature, particularly after Granny & Grandad purchased a trailer on Lake Hartwell for our households to share once I was 5 or 6 years previous. This was our childhood joyful place!
With no telephones or video video games to distract us, we spent lengthy summer time days full of swimming, selecting recent blackberries, fishing off the dock, leaping into interior tubes and spinning till we had been dizzy, cracking one another as much as the purpose of hysterical laughter, and laying subsequent to the open home windows at night time so the cicadas and tree frogs might serenade us to sleep.
In a dialog a couple of years earlier than Jon died, we talked about these early childhood recollections with misty-eyed nostalgia, and Jon informed me that these had been a number of the finest days of his life. These blissful recollections would play an enormous function within the males we finally grew to become.
One of many first occasions I bear in mind considering of Jon as my brother was after he and Carla moved simply across the nook from my dad and mom and I within the mid-Nineteen Seventies.
We attended the identical elementary college for some time, and I might stroll him residence day by day, since he was two years youthful than me and wanted to cross a significant street to succeed in his home.
We took a shortcut by way of the yard of a home subsequent to the schoolyard, the place a few teen hooligans ambushed us with pocket knives and demanded our cash.
Jon couldn’t have been greater than 6 or 7 on the time and, as his eyes welled up with tears and fears, I instantly obtained indignant and screamed at them to go away us alone. Over time, that protecting intuition solely grew stronger, as I spotted that Jon regarded as much as me like an older brother.
Although we performed collectively competitively tons of of occasions over time, capturing hoops, enjoying soccer, swinging throughout creeks, taking goal observe at aluminum cans and plates with our BB weapons, and wrestling as younger energetic boys typically do, I can’t recall us ever having a significant disagreement.
We at all times supported and inspired one another, and our fraternal bond solely grew stronger over time.
After my grandparents and Jon’s household moved out to the Winder/Auburn space within the early ’80s, dwelling a half-mile away from one another, my summer time trip time with Jon, Carla, and my grandparents grew to become a much-needed escape from the troubles I used to be coping with at residence.
Jon’s candy, smiling nature appeared to me like a reflection of his mother’s nurturing love. After I visited them, Carla typically handled me extra like a son than a nephew, and her deep love for Jon was each evident and galvanizing.
I’ve fond recollections of days once I fell and damage myself whereas driving Jon’s minibike, and Carla tended to my wounds. Or she would supply to clean our hair within the kitchen sink on the finish of a protracted, sweaty summer time day. Possibly this explains why Jon finally grew as much as be such a loyal father to his daughter, Blair.
By the point we had been youngsters, Jon and I had our respective struggles with dominant authority figures, with women, with bullies, with feeling like odd geese in our respective social circles.
We nonetheless cherished enjoying outside each probability we obtained, however our conversations grew to become deeper and extra significant. We talked on the cellphone typically, serving to one another by way of clashes with dad and mom (or, in his case, his stepdad), crushes, heartbreaks, and all the standard coming-of-age challenges.
Even in occasions when it felt like we had been on their lonesome in our respective worlds, we at all times had one another. Jon was my finest pal and confidant. He was so considerate, thoughtful, empathetic and, in some ways, smart past his years. At the same time as a child, he at all times appeared to have an “previous soul,” with Grandad as his #1 male function mannequin.
In early maturity, I used to be capable of be there for Jon when the connection between him and his stepfather grew to become too tough to bear.
He lived with me throughout a formative time in each our lives, and we grew to become a lot nearer, being on the core of an ever-growing group of oddballs and outcasts who had been looking for our place and our function on the planet.
After I wound up homeless at age 19 after a sequence of private struggles, Jon was the one member of my household who knew the place I used to be, and he informed his mother about my dire scenario.
By Jon, Carla reached out and provided me cash to get a room at a boarding home, which gave me a base from which I might get again on my ft and finally rebuild my complete life. Simply over a 12 months later, I used to be working my approach by way of school.
In any case this shared historical past, it ought to come as no shock that Jon was the perfect man at my marriage ceremony in 1991.
He was additionally the primary one that knew concerning the ever-increasing issues in that marriage. He was one of many first individuals to carry my daughter Allie within the hospital after her start in 2001. And he was the primary individual I informed once I determined to file for divorce a couple of years later.
Now in our mid 30s, we poured our hearts out about our respective life struggles in a approach that we hadn’t carried out in years, and it was then that Jon informed me for the primary time a few lady he’d taken an curiosity in, Elizabeth.
Regardless of being one of many coolest, handsomest, funniest, and kindest males I knew, Jon had solely had a couple of important relationships at that time in his life. So when he talked about Elizabeth in a approach that made it clear that he wished to be a greater man for her, I knew it was actually critical.
On our approach again residence from the mountains, we stopped off at our household’s previous property on Lake Hartwell. Our little cove had lengthy since dried up, and the trailer Grandad had purchased 30 years earlier had fallen into disrepair. By this level Grandad had been gone for 7 years, and his loss was a giant blow to each of us.
Jon and I hugged, and I had tears in my eyes as all the nice and cozy childhood recollections washed over me. At that second, feeling scared and overwhelmed by all of the modifications in my life, I genuinely treasured his companionship, his sage recommendation, and the energy of our brotherly bond greater than I ever had earlier than.
It pains me somewhat to confess that Jon and I didn’t be in contact as a lot as I might’ve preferred within the years after he requested me to be a groomsman in his 2009 marriage ceremony to Elizabeth.
Our careers took us in numerous instructions, however each had been impressed by our grandparents.
Like Grandad, Jon cherished working along with his arms, and began his personal profitable residence reworking enterprise. Impressed by Granny and Grandad’s love of travel, Mary and I launched Inexperienced World Journey and Blue Ridge Mountains Journey Information, visiting 50+ international locations world wide.
Fortunately Carla and Lawayne took up our longstanding household custom of internet hosting vacation gatherings at their home after Granny died in 2009. And each time the Loves obtained collectively and Jon walked within the room, I nonetheless felt that very same previous pleasure of attending to spend time with my brother from one other mom.
We might typically speak about our parallel lives as devoted husbands and fathers, about our respective companies, and about our recollections of the great previous days, with frequent bursts of laughter and tomfoolery that jogged my memory of the youngsters we was once.
Our childhood days at Lake Hartwell continued to play a central function in our middle-aged lives.
Mary and I hold a ship docked at Lake Allatoona, spending 3-4 days every week there when the climate is heat. And Jon and Elizabeth’s household would all collect at their non-public lake close to Dahlonega virtually each weekend, creating magical recollections I do know Blair and her cousins will treasure ceaselessly.
After a life full of many challenges, it was so gratifying for me to see Jon discover his good match in Elizabeth. I had by no means seen him happier than he was along with her, till Blair got here alongside and made his life full. As a doting dad myself, seeing how his smile lit up each time Blair was round stuffed my coronary heart with pleasure.
As we watched Jon tackle his 3-year battle with most cancers with energy, dignity, and an unbelievable measure of intestinal fortitude that jogged my memory of Grandad, it was tough for me, realizing that this was one journey I couldn’t be a part of him on, irrespective of how badly I needed I could possibly be his protecting Massive Brother once more.
And although this insidious illness might have crushed him in the long run, I can’t assist however be grateful realizing that Jon’s spirit is lastly capable of run free once more.
Free from ache. Free from struggling. Free from fear.
I wish to think about him with his eyes broad, his toothy grin, and his blond hair bouncing within the breeze, speeding in direction of Granny and Grandad, and the largest, most lovely lake you ever noticed… –by Bret Love
