‘We’re going to a naturist resort?’ asks Mr Smith, eyebrows raised. ‘Nicely, we gained’t have to pack a lot then.’ I hate to disappoint him, however he’s barely misheard me. We’re off to Elmley Nature Reserve. Much less only-wearing-Birkenstocks, extra birds.
If you realize your lapwing out of your lark you’ve in all probability already heard of Elmley. This 3,300 acre website is likely one of the greatest bird-watching spots within the UK and the one nature reserve within the nation the place you’ll be able to spend the night time.
However we’re not speaking about bedding down in a bird-watching disguise. At Elmley there’s a boutique lodge in a transformed 18th-century farmhouse, a cottage sleeping 10 which could be rented for self-catering stays, and a collection of luxurious shepherd’s huts and cabins, full with outside bathtub tubs and floor-to-ceiling home windows.
Our taxi driver at Sittingbourne station (simply an hour from central London) provides the primary trace that we’re headed someplace pretty remoted. He desires to warn us that the 15-minute drive to Elmley might take considerably longer. ‘There may very well be a cow within the street,’ he explains, matter-of-factly.
As we cross over the bridge from the Kent mainland to the Isle of Sheppey we’re greeted by the huge, flat panorama and a few large open skies. If desirous to really feel one million miles from the town however travelling lower than 50 is the goal, we’ve come to the correct place.
Fortunately there are not any bovine obstructions at present and we’re quickly inside the lounge of the principle farmhouse, sipping a welcome drink of elderflower spritz. There’s no check-in desk and it feels very such as you’ve simply rocked up at a ridiculously beautiful dwelling, not a lodge.
We’ll be staying within the Yellow Room, one in every of 5 differently-hued bedrooms in the principle home. It appears like sleeping inside a ray of sunshine, with canary-coloured partitions, a roll-top bathtub which appears to be like out over the salt marshes, a rain bathe, his and hers sinks, and two gentle pink velvet armchairs. The oil work of nudes in our room is perhaps the closest we get to seeing others within the buff, however this room continues to be very horny certainly.
We take into consideration becoming a member of one of many day by day guided walks, however resolve to get acquainted with the Nice Indoors as an alternative. That is our first break as a pair since having our daughter, so that you’ll forgive our, ahem, laziness.
The tremendous king mattress, full with woollen blankets and ridiculously plump cushions, is simply too inviting. Little touches like a Roberts Radio, Bramley toiletries within the rest room and mini scorching water bottles elevate this manner above your normal nation lodge keep.
Simply earlier than dinnertime we amble downstairs to the drawing room, the place the woodburner is ablaze and there are board video games and books aplenty. We order cocktails – a Kentish morello cherry martini for me – after which sit down for a relaxed dinner within the cosy eating room.
It’s an intimate, candle-lit area, simply 5 or so wood tables and chairs, with vintage bone-handled cutlery and beautiful linen napkins. Dinner is the form of earthy consolation meals you’d like to eat after a tough day on the farm, a filling hearty beef stew to share, a bottle of crimson, a home-made crumble for dessert. It’s like each cottagecore fantasy you’ve ever had, with out having to rise up at daybreak to exploit the cows.
As an alternative, a bit of basket of teas and coffees and a tiny glass bottle of contemporary milk is delivered to the door of our room early the subsequent morning and we drink our brews in mattress earlier than slipping down for our ‘Kentinental Breakfast’, a still-warm croissant, served with home-made jam, and berries, yoghurt and granola.
Cooked breakfasts like truffle mushrooms on toast or farmhouse baked eggs could be ordered on request and should you’re staying in one of many huts, breakfast could be delivered to your mattress in a hamper.
Ultimately we make it out for our first stroll and it’s the proper terrain for metropolis varieties like me who’re incapable of studying maps, as there’s actually just one observe to observe so it’s unattainable to get misplaced.
Following this path takes you to 4 totally different hides for recognizing all types of birds which change relying on the season. We’re right here within the autumn and so might probably spot buzzards, peregrine falcons and sandpipers (not that we’d actually recognise them if we did). And in the case of going off-grid, apart from one chap with a really massive digicam lens (not a euphemism), we don’t see some other folks in any respect.
We get in contact with our inside Invoice Oddie by getting surprisingly excited once we spot a kestrel (it might have been a kestrel) hovering after which dive-bombing for prey within the marshes. However primarily we simply gaze out over the meadows and up on the vast blue sky, the place murmurations of starlings appear to be doing their dance only for us.
All that birdwatching has labored up an urge for food, so we cease for lunch on the Cowshed Café on website: a transformed barn made snuggly with rugs and velvet sofas (on wet days they’ve a projector in right here taking part in motion pictures). The menu is stuffed with native produce, the Elmley pork and caramelised onion sausage roll is a spotlight.
Our afternoon is spent studying, soaking within the gargantuan tub and doing that exercise that every one new dad and mom secretly do once they lastly get a much-longed-for break free from their offspring: scrolling by way of infinite photos of their youngster on their telephone.
Out of the blue it’s virtually nightfall and we resolve to squeeze in yet one more night stroll. We hear owls within the bushes and frogs within the reeds, and even spot a hare which glances in our route after which shortly scarpers. It’s a bit of alarming when a tiny little snake slithers off the trail.
There’s loads to do on the island in case you are feeling lively – maritime museums, award-winning pubs and really outdated church buildings. However for us a go to to Elmley was an opportunity to reset, change off and don’t very a lot in any respect. Recognizing all that wildlife was an added bonus.
We vow to come back again right here in the summertime, if solely to seek out the key seashore for a wild swim. That sounds just like the form of place the place naturism can be very a lot inspired.
Discover out extra about Elmley Nature Reserve or discover our full assortment of Kent hotels
Kate Wills is a contract journalist primarily based in London. Her work has appeared in The Guardian, Vogue, ES Journal, Marie Claire, Grazia and extra. She’s been street-art recognizing in Bogota, mountain climbing by way of a glacier in Iceland, kayaking down the Yangtze River in China and stumbling across the dive bars of LA. All within the title of analysis. Primarily.
All pictures by Hannah Dace
